Well, here I am, starting something new yet again. For the longest time I wasn’t sure what I want to do, which was very strange for me. I was always that kind of person who always knew. I love planning, I enjoy drawing my future in front of me, but this time it was different. I lost my personality, I lost my passion for basically everything and I was just counting days. How did I get out of it?
When someone is suppressing your personality long enough you one day just give in to get some peace in your mind. You stop caring. Once I figured what happened, I moved out to my own little place and I started to test and try (wan’t that easy but you know, long story short). It has been 4 months since I started to build up my life from the scratch and well, it is such an amazing journey. Of course, not that easy. I still don’t have many answers. I still don’t really know what I really want or like in all parts of my life. I just want to share with you few tips how to figure out yourself and how I am handling this whole project called “being myself“.
- START SMALL. Don’t think that you will figure suddenly everything out because you can. That ain’t no happening, trust me. But there is sure something you can start with. Have you always wanted to do yoga, try a lesson! Have you always wanted those shiny oxford shoes? Get them! Do the first thing which comes on your mind, and do it now! I cut my hair, bought those shoes and got a sofa for my new place I wanted for years. Man that felt great!
- USE WHAT YOU KNOW. If you are at least a bit like me, you probably know by now what you don’t want and what you don’t like. It is usually much easier to figure out those things we don’t fancy much. Try to be bold and brave and really stick with what you know you like or don’t like. Don’t like onions? Don’t be afraid to tell waiter to get rid of them from your meal! Of course, be kind but firm.
- TALK TO PEOPLE. From my experience, if you were in a same situation, maybe even depressed, you slowly start closing and keeping distance from everyone. Try to dust those friendships which are wort it, try to talk more to your colleagues. I was really touched when I opened up again and figured out that I still have my friends and they all sort of knew something was of. There is no better way how to find yourself and be honest and authentic than in this vulnerable moment.
- CHANGE YOUR MIND. AGAIN AND AGAIN. Don’t be to hard on yourself because you don’t know what you want or like. Even people which have their lives put together don’t have all the answers. You will figure it out. And you might make mistakes, you might change your mind fifteen times, that is all fine. It is your life and your shit to sort out. Take your time and try to see how you feel about everything. Which leads me to another little tip.
- BUT DON’T MAKE IMPULS DECISIONS. Especially those expensive ones. Tattoos, marriages or new cars might be decisions you want to leave for later on. If you are building yourself up again, it is really tempting to just go on shopping spree and buy everything new and make yourself happy. As cringy as it sounds, happiness comes from inside. And honestly you probably don’t know what you want anyway. If you really want to for example buy something, try to think about reasons why and give yourself good nigh sleep before making a final decision.
I believe those tips are good to start with. One extra tip for you, since we are good friend! Try to not compare yourself with anyone or anything, it makes finding yourself and what you truly like way much harder. We are not aiming for perfection here! It is much better to be unperfect authentic human than anything else, always! I am fighting with this last one myself, thats why it is just a bonus tip I have to still work on.
If you fancy some support on that matter, I can highly recommend podcast from Sarah Tasker on comparison trap. I listened to it at least 3 times and it is just wonderful!
Do you have any tips of your own? Share them with others in comments!
Starting over and finding yourself is difficult. I’ve done it many times. But it is absolutely necessary if your personality is being suppressed!
My two pieces of advice: 1) don’t be afraid to talk to your friends when you’re having a hard time and 2) try finding ways to keep growing your passions (like blogging, yoga, running, etc).
I really liked your blogpost because it has some tips that everyone should apply to their lives, if they are happy or unhappy or whatever they may feel like. What you describe is finding out who we truly are and understanding ourselves better. This would help so many people if they would just try it. These are some amazing tips!! I like number 4 the best, because it is exactly how I am, I always change my mind, thinking its not good that I do that. But you are totally right, it is fine to do it, if you feel like it.
Knowing that it’s ok to start over is huge. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Barbora! I agree that we have to be forgiving about the process. Do what works for you, make baby steps, and work at your own pace. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Xx
I’m a super impulsive person but I noticed that I rarely regret what I do.
Mostly because sometimes all it takes is like 20 seconds of courage (or an impulsive decision to act).
99% something good comes out of it.
Great post! Really got me thinking.
These are great tips! I would say that not comparing yourself to others is the most important thing to do to find yourself! Self-love is something that everyone needs to learn♥
What a beautiful post! Absolutely love it! Even though it might sound really superficial but I find it really helpful to browse Pinterest. Looking at lots of inspiration makes me realise the things I really like for myself and about myself. It’s an easy way to broaden your horizons with things you maybe didn’t even know existed in a very short amount of time! x
Very inspiring post! I would emphasize: do not compare yourself with others & even inperfections can be awesome. Loving your blog!